Sunday, October 2, 2016

How to be a troll in an anonymous, online community

(and how to spot one)Step 1: Go through the history of the person you want to troll. See if they have anything they care about or maybe not sure about. Choose the one that is the most subjective.Step 2: Make fun of or hint at that they are being that way in an unrelated thread. Example: person mentions he loves to go to bars but can't always find someone to dance with but goes anyway. This person likes to socialize and have fun but isn't always successful. Go to the unrelated thread of the workplace and say how their co-workers probably just don't want to hang with them.Step 3: Set up multiple alt accounts to agree with you. Protips: Try to have older accounts that bounce around from being nice and troll like. If you're new, of course this can't be helped but try to set up early and be strong.Step 4: Make fun of the person if they accuse you in any way. This has to be very general. Compare them to "tin foil hat" people or other crazy people. Also, make sure to lump them in with their preferred other (such as lefties, bike lovers, social justice warrior, etc.)Step 5: Be smug about how what a great troll you are. Of course, we all know you're just lonely and don't know how to socialize because you're so narcissistic but being smug feeeeels better.How to reply to a trollStep A: Don't care. I can't stress this enough. Feeding the trolls is bad enough but caring is the worst thing you can do.Step B: Don't say anything. Pretend like the troll just let out the stinkiest, most foul fart you have ever smelled. It's so vomit inducing that if you open your mouth, you actually will puke. So hold your nose, wave the air and leave the comment and/or thread.Step C (more advanced): Have fun with it. You've survived some of the farts and you're getting used to them so now you can actually do what amuses you. Example: Picture the troll as cute pandas and the only way you can communicate with them is to send them cute noises. Now, if the troll then says something that bothers you, go back to Step A because you're not ready (but you will be, I promise).Pro Tip: Pretend like they're someone you're in love with physically. They are just so darn attractive that you can't help saying, "Damn" every time they blow on through and respond appropriately. This not only confuses the troll, but you've just pictured a sexaaaay walking by. Nice on all accounts.Edit: This is SeattleWA sub related specifically. ;) via /r/SeattleWA

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